Love Lost Found
by llAurorall
Summary: Helena finally comes home.


**Love. Lost. Found.**

Tired but restless, Claudia tossed and turned for hours before giving up. She crawled from bed with bleary eyes and flinched when she turned the light on. The bedside clock blinked at her, mocking her with the early morning hour.

Sleep, still, was an elusive enemy. She knew it would be years before she slept soundly; if it ever happened at all. There was too much to remind her of loss for that.

With nothing left to her, Claudia pulled a jumper on to fight the chill and left her room. The bed and breakfast was quiet throughout; only the hint of snoring coming from Pete's room. She padded downstairs in bare feet and detoured to the kitchen.

Her intention was to fix a warm drink; something Leena had done for her, once upon a time. Only, as she reached for the cupboards, she heard noise from the den. The promise of company was too tempting to ignore.

She already suspected it would be Myka but at the door, Claudia stopped. More than one voice filtered out.

"I could have shot you," Myka said, trying to keep her voice low but maintain her outrage.

A rich laugh followed. One that Claudia recognised immediately; would never forget.

"You would need a weapon for that."

"I could have one," Myka said. Claudia smiled at the typical, ever-prepared-Myka response. "I could."

"Then where is it?"

Myka released a long breath, the last of it almost a laugh. "In my other pants."

Helena laughed again, filling Claudia with warmth and hope. Two things she thought long lost to her of late.

"I came as soon as I was able," Helena said. Claudia inched along the wall until she could see Myka's and Helena's reflection in a pane of glass. Helena lingered in the shadows; never sure of the reception she would receive. Most of her features were clouded in darkness.

"Leena's dead." Myka licked her lips. "Artie is… He's never going to be the same again. Pete looks at me like I might leave any second and Claudia… She'll be glad to see you again."

Helena took the news without a flinch. Myka folded her arms across her chest, hugging tightly. It was obvious Myka had not meant to blurt it all out.

"I'll do whatever I can," Helena promised.

Claudia, eyes stinging anew, took a steady breath to ease the pressure in her chest.

"How did you even get here?"

"There were several flights involved, a lot of evading and at least one attempt on my life." It was all said with a joking lilt but Claudia felt the undercurrent in it; the lingering stain of fear. An icy shiver crawled up her spine, raising gooseflesh on her arms.

In the glass reflection she watched Helena step out from the shadows. Myka's gasp covered her own. A thin, jagged line bisected Helena's lips before tracking down her chin and neck. It disappeared under her shirt and continued on to places unseen. A yellow-green bruise covered the one cheek.

"You're hurt…" Myka stepped forward but stopped. She looked confused. "How…? What… Helena, what happened?"

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm back. To stay."

Myka shook her head. The tremor in her voice was echoed by Claudia's breathing. "No. No." She struggled with herself; as she always did. "This is not okay."

"I would pay this, and more, to be here now."

"You've suffered enough, Helena." Myka's voice rose to near-hysterics. "Will you stop with the martyr thing because I- I can-" She took a breath. "Just stop, okay? Stop trying to make amends. It's done. _You're_ done."

Claudia watched Helena take it all; stoic and silent. She watched Myka shrink into herself and try to hold it together.

"This," Helena said gently, "Is nothing." She reached for Myka's hand and Claudia saw bruising over the backs of her knuckles. Tender and slow, she put Myka's fingers to the bruise under her eye. "See?"

Without prompting, Myka moved to the cut through Helena's lip. She brushed down her neck and lingered at her collar before falling away. A different kind of darkness filled Helena's reflection.

Claudia knew she should leave.

Myka licked her lips. "We should get the others. Dr Vanessa can get a look at that."

"Myka, wait." Helena pulled her back with a gentle tug at her wrist. Myka tried to look away but she was always drawn back. Always. "It can wait."

Myka pulled away with such force she nearly knocked herself off balance. Helena looked as though she had been slapped. "I can't." Myka's voice was rough. "I can't."

"I'm sorry," Helena said quickly. "I shouldn't have just assumed." She brushed her hair from her face and it was such a familiar gesture that Claudia could not help but smile. "I'll… I presume one of the guest rooms is empty? Or perhaps I could just sleep at the warehouse."

"You were gone," Myka said brokenly. "You were just, _gone_."

"Sorry will never be enough."

Myka turned on Helena, all righteous fury and bleeding heart. "Yes, it will."

Claudia could feel her heartache and her grief as keenly as if it were her own. In a way it was; she loved Helena too. She was family and losing family never got any easier.

"It is enough," Myka said, incensed. "Why won't you just…" She bit her lip to stop the rest. She angled herself away as a paltry defence.

Helena smiled ruefully. "Get off my cross?"

Myka deflated as if someone had put a pin in all her pent up frustration. "Exactly."

"I am so very sorry," Helena whispered. She tried to reach out but stopped at the last second. "I never wanted to hurt you." She swallowed. "Indeed, it was thought of you, of seeing you again, that gave me the strength to keep fighting."

Claudia watched Myka turn back to Helena. Her face was a mask of control but she saw the single tear glide down Myka's cheek. Helena did too, gently thumbing it away. Myka took Helena's hand in hers when she made to move away, leaning into the touch.

"I never thought I'd feel this way again," Myka said. "Not after Sam. Not after you…"

"I have nothing to compare to this." Helena, for all her grace and eloquence, simply shrugged her shoulders. "You saved my life."

To Claudia's surprise, Myka smiled. She even laughed, shaking her head.

"Would you be more careful with it then? It's kinda important to me."

"I'll do my best."

It was never straightforward with them. Claudia shook her head at how they always danced around each other. Two people, who were far too intimate with grief, always shying from the light. Sometimes she just wanted to hit them both over the heads.

Helena took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Nervousness was something that looked very out of place on her. When she opened her eyes again, the familiar resolution was back. Her gaze flickered over Myka's face, never staying in one place for too long. Claudia's heart jumped into her throat.

There was plenty of warning. Helena licked her lips and adjusted her weight. Both hands reached up for Myka's face, cupping her chin. Myka watched it all before she lost her patience and tugged on Helena's jacket, hard.

They went headlong. Claudia watched Myka fall back to the coffee table, Helena draped over her. Her hands went to Helena's hips and pulled her closer; never close enough now that they had crossed the line. The air filled with heavy breathing and the whisper of something more.

Claudia's cheeks went bright red but she could not look away. Bereft of family and friends for most of her life, this was something she had never seen. She knew about it; had felt love's fleeting touch once or twice, but not this. The force that pulled Helena up on her toes and put Myka's fingers into silky black hair was so strong, it had finally broken the walls between two of the best-defended women Claudia knew.

"Are you sure of this," Helena breathed into Myka's throat. Her palms were flat against Myka's stomach, rising and falling with hard-earned breaths. "I need you to be sure."

"I need you too," Myka said, pulling Helena closer. Claudia did not think closer was even possible at that point. She felt Helena's groan of relief all the way down to her toes. She, neither of them, did anything by half. For better or worse, theirs' was a black and white world when it came to the other; all or nothing.

Myka's hand swept under Helena's shirt, revealing lean, pale skin. Helena's kisses became deeper; lingering against the column of Myka's throat, the shell of her ear and teasing along her jaw. Myka arched under the attention, her unruly hair collected in Helena's fingers.

At the limit of her patience, Myka pulled Helena back to her mouth. At the obvious sweep of a tongue and a trembling moan, Claudia shut her eyes. It was her cue to leave them in peace; some things she did not need to see.

She made it a single pace from the door and the den erupted into laughter.

"You can come back, Claud. We're decent."

Her face flushed scarlet. Myka was still laughing when she peered around the door. "You knew I was here the whole time?"

"I heard you in the kitchen," Myka said. Her fingers were loosely intertwined with Helena's.

"You both suck," she mumbled. She looked pointedly at her feet. A moment later she was swept into a bruising hug. She gripped Helena just as fiercely, a fresh wave of tears stinging her eyes.

"It's good to see you again," Helena said. She cupped the back of Claudia's head and the first tears spilled over her lashes.

"I missed you." She offered a watery smile when Helena pulled back, embarrassed for a completely new reason. "Don't ever just disappear like that again, okay?"

"You have my word on it."

She looked Helena over, following the damage down her throat. A few more marks were visible close up; a fading cut in her hairline and bruises that matched a hand under her jaw. More than that, Helena looked tired; exhausted.

"I'm okay," Helena murmured. She brushed new tears from her cheeks. "I'm okay."

"You promise?" She dreaded to think what other nightmares were hidden from sight. "Because HG, I don't think I can go back to the nut-house." She tried to laugh but it fell flat.

"She's not going anywhere," Myka said; a promise. Myka's strength was comforting and Claudia clung to it to bolster herself.

"And this," Claudia said, pointing at the two of them. "Wasn't just to prank me, right? I need you two to just be happy already."

"I think we'll be okay," Myka said, still a little breathless. While some of their behaviour might have been just to put Claudia into therapy, there was no mistaking the raw effect of their reunion.

Myka looked at Helena and the smile that spread across her lips was utterly helpless; proof enough of the truth. Helena returned it fully. Instead of tired, she now looked roguish and ready to take on the world. She was the Helena Claudia remembered.

"Okay," Claudia said, drawing the word out. Helena was inching back toward Myka; like a moth to a flame. "I think I'll be going back to bed now." She called over her shoulder. "You two crazy kids have fun."

She could practically see Myka sticking her tongue out. "Sure thing, Mom."

Claudia returned to her room, ready to sleep, finally. First light was breaking over the horizon but she ignored it and pulled the plug on her alarm. She was going to sleep for as long as the Sandman would have her. She crawled under now-cool sheets and wriggled into their embrace. A smile found its way from her heart to her face.

Things were by no means fixed but tonight at least, there would be peace.

_Aurora_


End file.
